Breakfast with Santa

We took the kids to eat breakfast with Santa on the first, it was so amazing. Miss A really enjoyed meeting Santa, finally. The first year she is actually going to remember him. She had a blast wearing her new dress that she picked out. This is defiantly going to be a family tradition.

I'm Back

So after taking some time off of blogging and working out, I am back. We have gone through so much as a family these past two months. With all the stress I was under I wasn't making good choices and losing weight was very difficult. I ended up gaining back 20 pounds in a matter of weeks and then added some extra on. Its very hard knowing that I am back where I started but it is my own fault and I just have to suck it up and start again.

My husband is on the right track, he is going to all of his therapy appointments but things are really hard. I am not going to lie, PTSD sucks. What hurts me the most is knowing that my husbands dreams of becoming a police officer, just flew out the door. That was his 5 year goal, to buy a home and become a police officer. My heart breaks for him, he is struggling so hard to not push us further than he has. One of the things with PTSD is that they feel so alone and even though they have family from all directions supporting them, they push them further and further to be alone.

I ordered a book tonight, I read a review off of the website and I just knew I had to get it. I really hope this helps me understand PTSD without the doctors terminology. I need to understand everything that I possibly can to help him. I wish I could do more, its just so hard.

Motivational Monday

So I was sent an email the other day telling me that my husbands health is just as important as mine. This past month I have been so focused on my husband and just gave up on myself. I gained back majority of the weight that I worked so hard to get off. I do this to myself a lot, I will lose 10+ pounds and then end up back to where I started. I am so frustrated with myself for continuing this cycle. My husband is supporting me but I feel like I need to do more for him rather than myself. He is going through so much more than I am, I just don't know how to support him through this except to put myself on the back burner and put all my extra strength into him and my children. I have been emotionally and physically exhausted. When I workout I feel so much better, I have more energy and I think clearly...I know what I have to do.

Maybe my good mood will help me, help my husband?

Invisible Wounds.

So I have taken a break from blogging for a bit for personal reasons. After our move things started going down hill for our family of four. If you have read my blog or know our family personally you would know my husband was an Infantry Marine, he has been out for close to two years now. He served two combat tours, one in Iraq and another in Afghanistan. Since he got back from his last deployment he hasn't been the same. He was not the guy that I fell in love with but I still loved him as much as the day I married him, even though he has been changed forever.   

*please if you know us personally, don't think of our family any differently. 

If you think you may, then stop reading. 

After he returned home from Afghanistan he was severely depressed. When he wasn't working he was sleeping. We never went anywhere and when we would, it turned into a huge argument on how many people were around and him not wanting to go inside. Nine times out of ten, he would shut down and leave me in the middle of the store alone...

"Broken by battle,

Wounded by war,

I love you forever,

To you this I swore:

I will quiet your silent screams,

Help heal your shattered soul

Until once again, my love, you are whole."

-Battling Bare

  

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD
and our lives have been forever changed.  

*I may write more about what has been going on but for now this is it. So I am sorry if I am absent for a few days to weeks at a time. I still haven't given up on my personal goals, my husbands health is just more important.